I want to start my blog by sharing this song with you:
It was originally sung by Rihanna, but this version was re-sung by Kenyan singer Alisha Popat, with violin by Lindsey Stirling. It’s a really beautiful song and the video touches me. Sometimes when I can’t sleep at night because my body is too painful, I listen to this song and it makes me feel relaxed and hopeful.
I never paid too much attention to the lyrics, but as I was in lying in bed one night I started thinking about the words as they apply to living with a chronic illness like (Juvenile) Rheumatoid Arthritis. During a bad flare we feel terrible and we wonder when the pain will ever end. If we don’t have the luxury of resting, we wonder how we’re going to get through it and how we’re going to move our bodies when they have shut down on us. And it can feel like a hopeless (and lonely) situation. I sometimes read blogs by newly diagnosed Rheumatoid Arthritis patients where they describe how hopeless they feel as their bodies start to turn against them. We start to worry about our futures, about our deteriorating joints and how we’ll manage as we age. It’s indeed scary and honestly if I stop to think about it I do feel scared. But you know what? I’ve realized that with time, we form a routine and get used to managing the illness. We become experts at being able to roll with the unexpected and we soon realize we’ll be okay, no matter what happens.
“Finding love” doesn’t have to mean romantic love. I think of it as loving life and finding a way to love life in the midst of a difficult situation. I try not to worry about matters which can’t be helped and I just try to enjoy my life and whatever comes my way. When you have a chronic illness the future is unpredictable as each day can bring unexpected changes. So give yourself a break every now and again and try to find something that will add some happiness to your life.
I wish you lots of luck in finding your love ;),